Checking up or checking in?

You’ve just invited a colleague to a “check in” meeting or you’ve sent them a message along the lines of, “Just checking in. How are you?”

What’s really your intent? Is it to check in on your colleague or check up? Is finding out “How is Project X coming along?” part of your motive?

Checking up is about you and your feelings and needs. Checking in is showing care for the other person and being genuinely curious about their feelings and needs. 

How do you feel when someone checks up on you? What about when they truly check in and show their care and concern?

What if you were clearer about your intent and called check ups checks ups and check ins check ins? 

“I wanted to check up on how Project X is coming along. I haven’t heard from you since I sent you Part A last week. Do you have everything you need to move forward right now, including the necessary resources?”

“We haven’t connected since last week and there’s been a lot on the go. I wanted to check in and see how you are doing. What’s on your mind this week?”

How might distinguishing your check ups and your check ins be more empathetic to the person you are reaching out to?

Do you check up on your colleagues more than you check in? Regularly checking in with a listening and caring heart can make a world of difference to your relationships, your team dynamics, and your organizational culture.

So, who are you checking in with today?